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Hi there,

 My name is Grace and for those of you who forgot, I have a blog. (I think I forgot for a while as well...)

Well it's been since October since I last wrote. It's a new year and - as cliché as this sounds - a new me.

So much has happened in my life that it would take ten posts and then some to fill you in on everything. So we'll just stick to the major stuff. And if you get bored, I give you my full permission to abandon ship; but if you can just bear with me, I have a lot of wisdom to impart to you and I hope you won't be disappointed.

I finished my freshman year of college last month! It was an amazing experience that I won't soon forget. I found the most wonderful friends/future roommates I could have ever hoped for. Karena, Dani, Chrissy, and Ashlynn. I love these girls to the moon and back. We're mostly goofy with a little sprinkle of crazy in there. I'll never forget the 2 a.m. doughnut runs, or the 3 a.m. Mexican food runs (never on the same night of course). The sunsets, and the sunrises we shared. The random (slightly irresponsible) beach trips. The laughs we're my favorite part though, these people knew exactly where my funny bone was and precisely how to make me lose my cool.

But freshman year was more than finding a group of friends and doing well in my classes (which I did), it was about finding - again, excuse the cliché - myself.

I think as I entered my freshman year I knew that life was just beginning and that God had something big and wonderful planned for me. Ending Freshman year, I'm one step closer to finding out what that plan is.

Okay, here's how I got a little closer to discovering the plan: I warn you right now that the past month or so has been a real trial for me, and if you only signed up to read the story of a happy 18 year-old with absolutely no cares in the world, now is a good time to jump ship, because the waters are a little rough from here on out.

So, you know that guy Zach I've written about in the past, told you guys how much I loved him, and how excited I was to be so close to him in Camp Pendleton. Yeah. He dumped me. About a month a go.

Before you start to think this is some awful break-up post, it's not. Is my heart broken? Of course, we were together for three years and I thought I was going to marry him. Am I asking you to join my pity party? No. I'm perfectly capable, and am much too liberal with my own self- pity to accept yours, so save it. I don't need it.

I'm going to spare you the gory details of how it happened and his reason for calling it quits (which isn't important because there's no changing what happened) and get straight to the part where I impart my wisdom.

What I learned by being dumped, and what I hope you can learn from my experience. A short memoir by Grace Hansen.

1. I am a strong independent woman who don't need no man.

Seriously though, I am more than just somebody's girlfriend, somebody's other half. I think going through this has made me appreciate that I am the person I am, not because of who I'm with, but because that's how God made me. People are just people. Whether soul mates exist or not, I don't know, but I do know that God made you as an individual, and if you find that special someone, you still remain an individual, with thoughts and feelings and emotions of your own. It's a blessing to get to share yourself with someone else, but you don't become someone else!

2. Don't believe everything you hear.

It's sad when children lose their innocence. But it means they're growing up. I think this has made me grow up. I'd like to think I'm no longer naïve about my relationships. I now know that promises are made to be broken and that forever is shorter than I expected; it's sad but true. I still believe in love because I see it in my mom's eyes when she talks about my dad, I see it in the way old couples hold hands during church. But do I still believe that when someone tells you they love you they mean it? No. They have to prove it with their actions as well.

3. People disappoint, even if they mean well at first.

I believe Zach really did love me for a long time. And I don't regret our relationship even with all the pain it's causing me now. But now I know that even people with the best intentions can hurt you. People change. Life changes. Especially when we're so young. The only thing I regret, the only thing I wish I could have been better at, is guarding my heart. If you take one thing away from this post I pray it is this.  "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23. If I would have been better at guarding my heart and being aware that people change, maybe I could have saved myself some trouble.


I think I'll leave it at those three for tonight. I've learned so much more than that freshman year but I don't know if you guys could handle all the wisdom I have for you in one post. ;) I hope I didn't disappoint.

And If Zach were to read this (which he probably won't) I'd want him to know that I still care about him even if it doesn't seem like he cares about me anymore. I still pray for his safety and well-being every night. And I pray that he finds what he's looking for, even if it's not me.

Through this heart ache, God has taught me what it means to really love my enemy; not that I'm saying Zach is my enemy! But the concept is there. Most girls would have been more than slightly pissed off if they thought a man was going to propose one month and then the next he ends up breaking it off. I'm thankful that I can say I haven't been tempted to burn any of his things or rip up any pictures. Yes, I've been confused and more than a little frustrated. I'm not perfect, I still get upset, but I think God has really helped me learn to hold my tongue and control my temper.

Enough of that dreadful topic. Now that it's summer time I'll have more time to write in this poor neglected blog of mine, even if I'm still super busy.

So far this summer I have:
1. Started working at the restaurant again. 6 days a week.
2. Taken a babysitting job 3 days a week which requires me to be up at an unlawful time of day.
3. Become a bridesmaid to one of my best friends. aww!
4. Sprained my ankle trying to play laser tag. trying.
5. Tried to make time to see friends.

And I've still got so much to do this summer! I'm glad to be busy though, it'll keep me happy.
Thanks for staying with me, my beloved readers. I'll try and write more often!

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely." Henry Ford.

-Grace